We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
