Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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