im drinking this country out of the recession.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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