He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Found the puke drawer
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
