Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So much Jack, so little girl.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
