Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
