I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
