Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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