So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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