Nicole vs. Life
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
