I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
