he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
