God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
