Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
