I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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