Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
