Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
