so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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