remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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