those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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