if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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