Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
