maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
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All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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