Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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