It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize