My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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