I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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