Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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