We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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