I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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