Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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