i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
