Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
