"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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