I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
