so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Holy shit dude........stairs
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
