Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
