I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
