put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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