i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
