im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
