sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
