I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
