hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
