She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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