im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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