He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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