I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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