Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
