I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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