Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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