I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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