it hurts more in the daytime
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
