but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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