At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
