I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
