Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
