This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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