When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
