As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
