I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
