i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
