I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize